A Fairly Nutty Christmas

Dear Santa,

I started out this year with a list about three pages long. In it were things ranging from an Emily who’d last more than a day on the job to a vacation of a lifetime somewhere far far away where the office had no means of getting in touch with me.

There was also a new phone and an iPad equivalent somewhere in that list. As was the wish that some people would just disappear from my life, thank you very much. Some clients, I can say with absolute certainty, just don’t deserve to be on your phone book.

Oh…and there was, if I recall, a mention of a man somewhere in that list. There always has been. Since like, 2006. *snigger*

As the year passed by though, that list got whittled down a fair bit, rather surprisingly. I don’t quite know if it was you reading my mind and pre-empting my wishlist or simply fate and good fortune working in my favour, but nonetheless, my list of about 56 items – give or take a few side notes for secondary, but nonetheless related wishes - is now down to just three.

Yup. You read that right. Just three. So ol’ Rudolf can stop working out at the gym now. *guffaw*

Mind you, they’re not silly, abstract things like world peace or a cure for cancer. Although I do constantly hope for both, they’re the kinda wishes only Donald Trump or the Ol’ Liz in Buckingham would throw your way. For the simple fact they have pretty much everything else. No. It’s easy peasy stuff, really. Nothing too silly. Or too demanding.

They are, in no particular order:

A decent year-end bonus

This is borne out of a need to replenish the Treasury after the multitude of holidays I’ve been fortunate to have gone on this year. San Francisco. The Maldives. Singapore. Thailand. Australia. Not the cheapest of destinations to head off to, as you’d probably agree. So anything in the five figure range would be greatly appreciated. The Chancellor of the Exchequer thanks you too. *guffaw*

A smaller waistline

Again. I blame those holidays. Cos holidays means time away from the gym. And the bike that admittedly goes nowhere. And with that, my only hope of counteracting my ginormous appetite for good food. Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what those holidays did to me this year. Anything you could do to get me back into size 30 jeans would be ace.

Another office move

I know. This sounds a bit of an oddball wish. Especially when the office has only been at its new address for just a little over a year. Nonetheless, it’s on my list. For the plain reason that I simply LOATHE - with all my heart - the need to park my car a whole postal code away and take 20-minute rides either way to come and go from the office. It’s ridiculous. And an insanely complicated solution for what was never an issue if we had stayed at our old location.

So yeah. There you go, Santa. My wishlist for this year. It’d be great if I could have all three. But getting any one of those would still be a good thing for me.
And if you have some extra space on your sleigh…perhaps you could pop a VW Golf GTi into my Christmas stocking as well?

Just saying…..*grin*

Anyway. That’s all from me for now.

Yours truly,
Rpmnut.