Once again, the Pink Parade of Malaysia gets its 15 minutes of fame for all the wrong reasons.
The Seksualiti Merdeka debacle has dominated headlines for the past few weeks, and it really got me thinking about the community, issues of marginalisation and what I reckon has been a massive knee-jerk over-reaction resulting from this year’s planned festivities.
Seksualiti Merdeka, now in its fourth year, is intended to celebrate diversity as well as promote understanding and tolerance for the community. It is, in the words of the organisers, aimed at providing a safe space to dialogue and share information and knowledge on human rights during Seksualiti Merdeka’s events – notably the right to be who you are without fear of prosecution or marginalisation borne out of misinformed prejudices.
I applaud the objectives of the event. I truly do. But at the same time, as a gay Malaysian, I have some personal thoughts on the matter – chief amongst them was this : taken in context of the country we call home, was Seksualiti Merdeka 2011, and its associated hoopla, necessary?
At this point, I’d like to point out that my observations, thoughts and opinions contained herein are borne purely out of my experience as a man who happens to fancy other men, living in the big bad city of Kuala Lumpur after having been raised in a small town up north by a mother who studied in a convent and a father whose conservative ideals of family and sexuality were pretty much set in stone.
A combination which, by all accounts, should have resulted in my early, suicidal demise if popular media is to be believed. But I’m still here. And I’m still queer. And I’m going to share with you a few reasons why I think the gay agenda is best served quietly. Without the fireworks or taffeta. Or the marching band, for that matter.
Whilst you may not share these views - and I don't expect you to - I reckon it would serve as an interesting counterpoint to the current debates dominating the headlines in this country.
The Seksualiti Merdeka debacle has dominated headlines for the past few weeks, and it really got me thinking about the community, issues of marginalisation and what I reckon has been a massive knee-jerk over-reaction resulting from this year’s planned festivities.
Seksualiti Merdeka, now in its fourth year, is intended to celebrate diversity as well as promote understanding and tolerance for the community. It is, in the words of the organisers, aimed at providing a safe space to dialogue and share information and knowledge on human rights during Seksualiti Merdeka’s events – notably the right to be who you are without fear of prosecution or marginalisation borne out of misinformed prejudices.
I applaud the objectives of the event. I truly do. But at the same time, as a gay Malaysian, I have some personal thoughts on the matter – chief amongst them was this : taken in context of the country we call home, was Seksualiti Merdeka 2011, and its associated hoopla, necessary?
At this point, I’d like to point out that my observations, thoughts and opinions contained herein are borne purely out of my experience as a man who happens to fancy other men, living in the big bad city of Kuala Lumpur after having been raised in a small town up north by a mother who studied in a convent and a father whose conservative ideals of family and sexuality were pretty much set in stone.
A combination which, by all accounts, should have resulted in my early, suicidal demise if popular media is to be believed. But I’m still here. And I’m still queer. And I’m going to share with you a few reasons why I think the gay agenda is best served quietly. Without the fireworks or taffeta. Or the marching band, for that matter.
Whilst you may not share these views - and I don't expect you to - I reckon it would serve as an interesting counterpoint to the current debates dominating the headlines in this country.
Did we really need to ‘Merdeka’ all over again?
Seksualiti Merdeka is based on a simple enough premise: that all Malaysians, regardless of gender preference or sexual orientation, are entitled to live and love without fear. Therefore, following this principle, the question that needs to be asked to justify the event is this : are we truly a community that is oppressed and constantly living in fear?
Try this little experiment for the sake of argument: One of these days, when time permits, seat yourself at a café in Bukit Bintang and observe the passing scenery. In a span of 30 minutes, count the number of “gays” you can spot. I can virtually guarantee that in less than a minute, you’ll spot one. And in all likelihood, you’ll spot a dozen or so more in the next few minutes. Half of them might even be walking alongside their partners or friends with similar inclinations.
They’d be pretty hard to miss. You’ll first notice the perfectly styled hair, with just the right hint of product in it. Then you’ll quickly catch a glimpse of his unusually fashionable take on casual wear, draped over his gym-toned body. In his right hand, he’ll have an iPhone4, suitably blinged up with a snazzy cover case. In his left, a leather folio bound iPad. And in all likelihood, he’ll walk right up to his car, a stylish city runabout – perhaps even a Mini Cooper, valet parked - and drive away, wind in the hair and all.
Whilst I openly admit that this may not be representative of the average homosexual in this country, Mr. Mini Cooper here represents 100% of the gay community that I happen to know. Even if they don’t happen to own a Mini Cooper or dress in fancy designer wear, none of them appear in any way to be victims of a hateful society. They live thriving, successful lives within a social network - and often, net worth - comparable to, if not better than many a straight man’s.
They may not be making out in public with their partners or going apeshit with public displays of affection, but that’s something even heterosexual couples refrain from in this country.
So call me blind or perhaps a bit presumptuous, but from where I stand, this simply doesn’t seem like a community living on the brink of fear. So what are we declaring “Merdeka” from exactly?
Prejudices and opinions - the truth of the matter is, we all have them. And we’ll never be rid of them
Seksualiti Merdeka aims to rid Malaysia of the prejudices that give rise to homophobia and hate through workshops and forums for discussions. Laudable, no doubt, but I’d be the first to admit that even as a gay man, I have committed my fair share of sins when it comes to acting out my prejudices - as I am almost certain you have as well. Especially when such prejudices relate to stereotypes associated with certain races here in Malaysia.
*Cue civil service jokes*
*Cue Cheras Engrund jokes*
*Cue ‘unsaid’ HR policies that exclude UiTM graduates*
At the end of the day, everyone’s a little bit racist. We just don’t make it a point to champion those feelings or start committing hate crimes because of it. And we certainly don’t find the urge to run two-week long seminars on tolerance and acceptance in public because of it. So long as those feelings and thoughts aren't provoked into overdrive, it often remains in the background and fades into prejudicial white noise.
Therefore, if “closeted racism”, as I’ve come to term it, is widely accepted as a mere attribute of a person in possession of a mildly inappropriate sense of humour, the question that begs to be asked in my mind is this - why then do we categorize non-aggressive, closeted homophobia any differently?
But it’s gay rights! It’s different!
Fact is, it isn’t. Homophobia, at the heart of it, is no different from racism or any other prejudices you care to mention.
You can’t make everyone love the fact that you screw other guys.
You can’t force people to accept the fact that you’d rather stick your wand into another blokes’ behind than have a beautiful wife, 2.5 kids, a Golden Retriever and a Volvo estate in the driveway.
And you certainly can’t expect everyone to understand why you’d rather spend your life with another member of the same sex.
But fundamentally, this really is no different from how you can’t expect everyone to understand why you prefer coffee to tea, BMW’s to Audis or one’s preference for TRX instead of Bodypump.
It’s all the same emotion, just wrapped up in a different package. Except these days, we seem to pay a whole lotta attention to the packaging, forgetting that inside, it’s the very same thing – the very same source of combustible material that fuels issues as diverse as immigration controls, naturalisation, racial profiling, education policies, affirmative action and the like.
So no, it’s not any different. And it’s not a problem unique to the LGBT community.
But it still reeks of prejudice. And prejudice has no place in modern society! I should be able to express who I am unequivocally!
Prejudice is a rather unfortunate side effect of having opinions. And expressing it is just another human right which cannot be denied. The right to expression, it must be remembered, is a two-way street. If you expect to have an unequivocal right to say what you think, be prepared to accept the fact that others have the right to challenge your thoughts, even if it reeks of prejudice.
Case in point: We often have negative things to say about the presence of foreign workers in our neighbourhoods, even when the workers themselves have not really done anything wrong. And we’re almost unanimously vocal in expressing discontent when we talk about the persistent menace that is the ubiquitous Mat Rempit, drag-racing their “Kapcai” bikes on the streets of Kuala Lumpur. This despite the fact that they too, are merely exercising their inherent right to express themselves through their admittedly dangerous antics.
Fundamentally, therefore, there is little to differentiate between expressing one’s prejudicial remarks about Mat Rempits and some religious reformist proclaiming that homosexuals are doomed to hell. It’s prejudice, no doubt about it. But it is also his right to express his opinions. What you choose to do with such opinions is, however, entirely your call. Just remember that for every action, there will always be an equal and opposite reaction.
Freedom of expression therefore, should be exercised with a modicum of discretion. Simply put – the need to temper freedom of expression with a dash of morality, common sense and common decency is not a uniquely “gay” issue.
If you fan a fire, you better have an extinguisher at hand
I think everyone will agree that we live in a rather conservative state. This is a country, after all, where even normal, loving straight couples can be arrested for “close proximity” because the law provides for it. And where making out in public, even amongst “normal” heterosexual couples, is frowned upon. Expecting that a country like this was ready to openly and publically acknowledge the Pink Parade and its associated same-gender displays of affection was simply asking too much too soon.
Having been pushed into the limelight by the unequivocal ban by the authorities, and the resulting support Seksualiti Merdeka garnered from Non-Governmental Organisations, it was only a matter of time before every political party in the country latched onto the issue and capitalised on it for their own benefit in an attempt to galvanise support from their respective electorates - in the process turning what was a relatively low key event into what was eventually termed by the media as “a free sex party”.
Was this right? Most definitely not.
But was it expected? Why of course, yes. Expecting anything less would’ve been naïve. Plain and simple.
Now will someone PLEASE get Lil’ Miss Diva off the stage! I will choose my own spokesperson, thank you very much.
In all honesty, I have always had reservations with regards to the person(s) chosen to ‘showcase’ my identity and rights as a gay man here in Malaysia.
Performances by drag queens almost always feature prominently on the event schedule of Seksualiti Merdeka - as a statement of intent of sorts, that the community is “fabulous and proud of its quirkiness”. Not that I have anything against drag queens, but as amusing as these acts are, I simply do not think what they are on stage represents me, or for that matter, what being gay is about, at least in my books.
Their highlighted presence at events of this nature doesn’t do anything to quell the prejudice against the community, especially when such prejudice is principally fuelled by media-derived stereotypes that portray every gay man as cross-dressing freaks with an incessant appetite for filthy sex and every lesbian as a woman with a strange proclivity to dress as a man.
The fight for acceptance and tolerance is not won by emphasising our differences and then blowing it out of proportion just to get a reaction – as a test of sorts to push boundaries and see how much society can take before it caves. It is not won by shoving the gay agenda down the throats of everyone within sight. It is won, I reckon, by proving to naysayers that at the end of the day, save for our choice of partners for life, homosexuals are really no different from the average straight bloke or lass strolling the streets of Kuala Lumpur.
We have jobs. We have family. We have responsibilities. We don’t walk around in dresses all day. We too want to be loved. And we want to grow old with someone daring enough to stick around for the journey.
We are different, certainly - but I’d like to believe that there are more similarities between heterosexuals and homosexuals than there are differences. And that’s where the journey to acceptance starts.
Traitor! But you’re a gay man too!
Don’t get me wrong. I have always been proud of my sexuality. But on the same token, I’ve also never let myself be defined by it. I am a man who is gay, not a gay man.
Seksualiti Merdeka is based on a simple enough premise: that all Malaysians, regardless of gender preference or sexual orientation, are entitled to live and love without fear. Therefore, following this principle, the question that needs to be asked to justify the event is this : are we truly a community that is oppressed and constantly living in fear?
Try this little experiment for the sake of argument: One of these days, when time permits, seat yourself at a café in Bukit Bintang and observe the passing scenery. In a span of 30 minutes, count the number of “gays” you can spot. I can virtually guarantee that in less than a minute, you’ll spot one. And in all likelihood, you’ll spot a dozen or so more in the next few minutes. Half of them might even be walking alongside their partners or friends with similar inclinations.
They’d be pretty hard to miss. You’ll first notice the perfectly styled hair, with just the right hint of product in it. Then you’ll quickly catch a glimpse of his unusually fashionable take on casual wear, draped over his gym-toned body. In his right hand, he’ll have an iPhone4, suitably blinged up with a snazzy cover case. In his left, a leather folio bound iPad. And in all likelihood, he’ll walk right up to his car, a stylish city runabout – perhaps even a Mini Cooper, valet parked - and drive away, wind in the hair and all.
Whilst I openly admit that this may not be representative of the average homosexual in this country, Mr. Mini Cooper here represents 100% of the gay community that I happen to know. Even if they don’t happen to own a Mini Cooper or dress in fancy designer wear, none of them appear in any way to be victims of a hateful society. They live thriving, successful lives within a social network - and often, net worth - comparable to, if not better than many a straight man’s.
They may not be making out in public with their partners or going apeshit with public displays of affection, but that’s something even heterosexual couples refrain from in this country.
So call me blind or perhaps a bit presumptuous, but from where I stand, this simply doesn’t seem like a community living on the brink of fear. So what are we declaring “Merdeka” from exactly?
Prejudices and opinions - the truth of the matter is, we all have them. And we’ll never be rid of them
Seksualiti Merdeka aims to rid Malaysia of the prejudices that give rise to homophobia and hate through workshops and forums for discussions. Laudable, no doubt, but I’d be the first to admit that even as a gay man, I have committed my fair share of sins when it comes to acting out my prejudices - as I am almost certain you have as well. Especially when such prejudices relate to stereotypes associated with certain races here in Malaysia.
*Cue civil service jokes*
*Cue Cheras Engrund jokes*
*Cue ‘unsaid’ HR policies that exclude UiTM graduates*
At the end of the day, everyone’s a little bit racist. We just don’t make it a point to champion those feelings or start committing hate crimes because of it. And we certainly don’t find the urge to run two-week long seminars on tolerance and acceptance in public because of it. So long as those feelings and thoughts aren't provoked into overdrive, it often remains in the background and fades into prejudicial white noise.
Therefore, if “closeted racism”, as I’ve come to term it, is widely accepted as a mere attribute of a person in possession of a mildly inappropriate sense of humour, the question that begs to be asked in my mind is this - why then do we categorize non-aggressive, closeted homophobia any differently?
But it’s gay rights! It’s different!
Fact is, it isn’t. Homophobia, at the heart of it, is no different from racism or any other prejudices you care to mention.
You can’t make everyone love the fact that you screw other guys.
You can’t force people to accept the fact that you’d rather stick your wand into another blokes’ behind than have a beautiful wife, 2.5 kids, a Golden Retriever and a Volvo estate in the driveway.
And you certainly can’t expect everyone to understand why you’d rather spend your life with another member of the same sex.
But fundamentally, this really is no different from how you can’t expect everyone to understand why you prefer coffee to tea, BMW’s to Audis or one’s preference for TRX instead of Bodypump.
It’s all the same emotion, just wrapped up in a different package. Except these days, we seem to pay a whole lotta attention to the packaging, forgetting that inside, it’s the very same thing – the very same source of combustible material that fuels issues as diverse as immigration controls, naturalisation, racial profiling, education policies, affirmative action and the like.
So no, it’s not any different. And it’s not a problem unique to the LGBT community.
But it still reeks of prejudice. And prejudice has no place in modern society! I should be able to express who I am unequivocally!
Prejudice is a rather unfortunate side effect of having opinions. And expressing it is just another human right which cannot be denied. The right to expression, it must be remembered, is a two-way street. If you expect to have an unequivocal right to say what you think, be prepared to accept the fact that others have the right to challenge your thoughts, even if it reeks of prejudice.
Case in point: We often have negative things to say about the presence of foreign workers in our neighbourhoods, even when the workers themselves have not really done anything wrong. And we’re almost unanimously vocal in expressing discontent when we talk about the persistent menace that is the ubiquitous Mat Rempit, drag-racing their “Kapcai” bikes on the streets of Kuala Lumpur. This despite the fact that they too, are merely exercising their inherent right to express themselves through their admittedly dangerous antics.
Fundamentally, therefore, there is little to differentiate between expressing one’s prejudicial remarks about Mat Rempits and some religious reformist proclaiming that homosexuals are doomed to hell. It’s prejudice, no doubt about it. But it is also his right to express his opinions. What you choose to do with such opinions is, however, entirely your call. Just remember that for every action, there will always be an equal and opposite reaction.
Freedom of expression therefore, should be exercised with a modicum of discretion. Simply put – the need to temper freedom of expression with a dash of morality, common sense and common decency is not a uniquely “gay” issue.
If you fan a fire, you better have an extinguisher at hand
I think everyone will agree that we live in a rather conservative state. This is a country, after all, where even normal, loving straight couples can be arrested for “close proximity” because the law provides for it. And where making out in public, even amongst “normal” heterosexual couples, is frowned upon. Expecting that a country like this was ready to openly and publically acknowledge the Pink Parade and its associated same-gender displays of affection was simply asking too much too soon.
Having been pushed into the limelight by the unequivocal ban by the authorities, and the resulting support Seksualiti Merdeka garnered from Non-Governmental Organisations, it was only a matter of time before every political party in the country latched onto the issue and capitalised on it for their own benefit in an attempt to galvanise support from their respective electorates - in the process turning what was a relatively low key event into what was eventually termed by the media as “a free sex party”.
Was this right? Most definitely not.
But was it expected? Why of course, yes. Expecting anything less would’ve been naïve. Plain and simple.
Now will someone PLEASE get Lil’ Miss Diva off the stage! I will choose my own spokesperson, thank you very much.
In all honesty, I have always had reservations with regards to the person(s) chosen to ‘showcase’ my identity and rights as a gay man here in Malaysia.
Performances by drag queens almost always feature prominently on the event schedule of Seksualiti Merdeka - as a statement of intent of sorts, that the community is “fabulous and proud of its quirkiness”. Not that I have anything against drag queens, but as amusing as these acts are, I simply do not think what they are on stage represents me, or for that matter, what being gay is about, at least in my books.
Their highlighted presence at events of this nature doesn’t do anything to quell the prejudice against the community, especially when such prejudice is principally fuelled by media-derived stereotypes that portray every gay man as cross-dressing freaks with an incessant appetite for filthy sex and every lesbian as a woman with a strange proclivity to dress as a man.
The fight for acceptance and tolerance is not won by emphasising our differences and then blowing it out of proportion just to get a reaction – as a test of sorts to push boundaries and see how much society can take before it caves. It is not won by shoving the gay agenda down the throats of everyone within sight. It is won, I reckon, by proving to naysayers that at the end of the day, save for our choice of partners for life, homosexuals are really no different from the average straight bloke or lass strolling the streets of Kuala Lumpur.
We have jobs. We have family. We have responsibilities. We don’t walk around in dresses all day. We too want to be loved. And we want to grow old with someone daring enough to stick around for the journey.
We are different, certainly - but I’d like to believe that there are more similarities between heterosexuals and homosexuals than there are differences. And that’s where the journey to acceptance starts.
Traitor! But you’re a gay man too!
Don’t get me wrong. I have always been proud of my sexuality. But on the same token, I’ve also never let myself be defined by it. I am a man who is gay, not a gay man.
I am out. I am proud. But I don’t see the need to scream it out loud at every opportunity. Nor do I expect any form of third-party affirmation that what I am is right or wrong. I simply do not need it. If someone doesn’t accept me for who I am, I ignore them and move on. There are simply greater battles to be won.
What about the marginalisation and prejudice that LGBT’s face from the evil, prejudicial and oppressive “system”?
Am I, as a homosexual living in Malaysia, marginalised? Am I the recipient of constant abuse arising from the prejudices of a tyrannical, unaccepting society? Is it truly impossible to live and love without fear in this country?
To answer these questions, let’s simply consider the facts:
I have friends whom I love and accept me for who I am, despite the fact that they know I bat for the Pink Parade.
I have family who, despite my attempts at coming out, still don’t believe that I am gay but love me nonetheless.
I have a well-paying job which I love dearly - where my performance is determined purely by my abilities, and not hindered in any way by my sexuality.
I have colleagues who treat me with respect and acknowledge my achievements despite my sexuality.
I live in a quiet, safe suburb of the city with a desirable postal code - home to more than a handful of fellow gay men.
I hang out in public places with my friends, both gay and straight, without ever being the victim of marginalisation, abuse or prejudice.
And most importantly, I have a person whom I adore and share my life with, whose very presence shows that even in an ultra-conservative society like Malaysia, loving another man and sharing your life with him is entirely possible.
So the short answer to that question is no. I don’t need Seksualiti Merdeka to pick a fight for me. For I am already living and loving without fear.
So what, just keep calm and carry on?
I’m a big fan of human rights. I’m a big fan of the ability to live without fear. I am an even bigger fan of being able to love without fear.
But at the end of the day, I am 20% optimist, 80% realist. And erring on the side of realism leads me to this conclusion: That you can support the gay cause without supporting every event. That the gay agenda is a huge canvass on which Seksualiti Merdeka is merely a part of. And it’s a canvass that has the luxury of time to develop into a masterpiece we can all be proud of. We will not be burnt at the stake en masse tomorrow, I verily believe.
Having one event banned by a conservative government simply isn’t the end of the world or the death of gay rights. Rome, after all, wasn’t built in a day.
And in relation to the constant headline grabbing debates spiralling out of control as days go by, I reckon a piece of advice the QueenMother gave me years ago would be hugely relevant :
“The more you scream, the less people listen. And the less they listen, the less likely you’ll get what you want”
I reckon in context of the events in the past few weeks, never has that phrase been more apt.
This post also appears on the Malaysian Insider
54 comments:
Woah. So serious, this post!
Get lil Miss Diva off the stage? ROTFL!!!!!!!!
Read about the whole Sexuality thing on the internet, but never thought it was such a big a deal over there!
Time to move to Singapore, Nut!
You're a stinking contradiction to your own words. Out and proud and all for human rights but at the same time knocking other who come forward to help the community.
Somehow for you, as long as your Gaydar beeps when you're in pavilion, everything is just fine and dandy.
You make me sick you shallow selfish prick.
You said that, "I don’t see the need to scream it out loud at every opportunity. Nor do I expect any form of third-party affirmation that what I am is right or wrong. I simply do not need it."
But again, why do you need to rant and rave on this topic in your blog and then all the way to Malaysian Insider?
Good one, Nut!
Hate it when those very people who try to help the cause portray us as weaklings! :D
NOBODY was screaming.
Since 2008 the SM fest was organised to bring some sense of fellowship to a largely disparate often victimised community.
Your dismissal of SM is KL middle-class hypocrisy at its finest.
SM was hijacked by a bunch of politicians only out to get Dato' Ambiga's blood.
Nobody was screaming.
People like you are the reason why this country is getting so screwed up with each passing UMNO General Assembly.
Hypocrisy at its middle-class finest.
Not all homosexuals need help.
Not all are victims.
Good job speaking out for people like us, Nut!
I have to say it's very brave of you to write this.
Not everyone will share your view, tykeonabike, but I absolutely respect you for being able to have your OWN opinion on the matter! Bravo!
FINALLY! Someone who shares my feelings on how MY life is like as a gay man!
Been following the SM issue since it blew up.
It's RIDICULOUS that people whom I did not choose to speak on my behalf are doing so, and in the process ruining everything.
I think this comment on Malaysian Insider says it all:
Bravo. Finally someone who's conveying a point without a megaphone and co-activist joint at the hip.
You make some very valid points. I've spent the past couple of weeks debating the situation with some people and I felt like you took the words right out of my mouth. Thank you for being so articulate.
As for those who think you're being a total selfish prick, it works both ways. Like you said, most of us didn't appoint the people exclaiming that they are "speaking for" us. Don't represent a group that never asked you to in the first place. For those who do face discrimination, address that. Don't tangle discrimination with rights. Your rights are not being stripped. You have access to loans. You get jobs. You get to enjoy a quiet evening with your partner without being harassed or refused service. Where's the discrimination? I agree, people do have it tough but by flashing feather boas and garnering what I'm sure you consider "good publicity," it's only shining a spotlight on an issue that isn't there. We have it pretty good here. If you want to see how tough being in the LGBTQ community really is, I suggest you travel a little and expand your horizons.
Again. I cannot commend you enough. It's very heartening to know that I'm not the only one who has these views.
Good one, Nut!
Quote of the year:
"The right to expression, it must be remembered, is a two-way street"
Awesome
Not every gay man is as lucky as you!
You're probably like 1% of the community!
I would kiss you if I knew who you were!
About time someone other than politicians and activists spoke up! :D
Wah so panjang!
Jason - wouldn't do that if I were you. He has a bf now! LOL!
I'll kiss both of them then! :D
I find your views are misguided by your comfy middle-class existence. It is akin to most middle-class Malaysian that do not understand why others need to go out into the streets to protest about injustice, discrimination and unfairness. As long as your life is a pocketful of gilded fluffs you will be happy… Well, how privilege!
Try getting out and about from your Pink ivory tower to other segments of the society and open your blind mind and see the reality of things. Hopefully then you will think twice before having the desire to rant such ignorant and arrogance nonsenses.
To the people who whole-heartedly agree to this post: Have you stopped for a moment to think about what was said, its origins, its implications, before examining your own thoughts and forming an opinion??
Or do you just jump on the bandwagon to agree without question. The lack of critical thinking is a common disease among uneducated middle class pricks
Brilliant! We need guys like you representing us, RPMnut! Not excitable activists!!
To those who criticize the author for being 'middle class' - I think you forget the fact that the middle class forms a significant majority of gay men, me included.
But ANY man who can objectively analyze and come up with his own independent opinion on events like these is anything but middle class.
But the need to brag about your desirable postal code says it all. Guys like yourself are living and co-existing around me. The clan that is surrounded by fine dinings and wines and flashy whatevers, and oh! Your desirable postal codes. Not everybody has the same luck as you do. I have seen the lesser educated, trying to seek sources of inspiration and guidance. Oh well, I suppose you couldn't be bothered with all those because you are basically living a life where everything is close to perfect. But remember this, before you go on with your articulate rant, a homosexual individual is misguided and we (the better educated and fortunate) should lend a helping hand in making this world a better place for them to carry on with their lives.
Shockingly serious post!
But as much as I do agree with some parts of what you said, I think that it is good that we have someone out and proud - and yes, shouting our slogans in public as well. Though I see no need for pink parade floats careering down Bukit Bintang anytime soon, I do see that homosexuals and transgenders need a credible voice out there to make a push for tolerance and change. Perhaps an identifiable model to show that things actually do get better so that teens struggling with their sexuality would know for sure that a bright future is still possible.
And yes, I would like someday to repeal the damned 377A penal code crap.
Most people would find SM an amplified movement. But if it isn't being amplified, who would be aware of it ? Those homosexuals out there who find SM an uncomfortable scene to indulge themselves in, well, they can always opt to NOT be bothered by it and get on with their individual lives. SM is meant for those younger generations as well as the older ones, especially parents who are trying to cope with the understanding and acceptance of the LGBT minority so that their homosexual child/children would be at peace with themselves whenever they are around their parents. FEAR, ladies and gentlemen, is a dangerous part of the human sensation which, if not controlled properly, will lead us to all these debacle going on right now. I hope, we all could contribute some parts of our precious time in so many creative ways we could possibly imagine, in helping those who really need these awareness and guidance instead of debating among ourselves. We could make do with the courage (or what's left of it) in ourselves to move forward in this era. If one chooses to be at his/her spot right now, then it is best he/she be left alone to dwell with his/her own problems. We can't change a mindset overnight and yes, this goes out to both the straights and gays out there. As long there's a will, there will be a chance for a better future. To those younger generations of LGBT who could be reading this right now, consider Seksualiti Merdeka as a portal towards better understandings and acceptance not only to yourselves, but of others of you. It will all get better.
The SM movement criticizes the authorities for putting down the human rights argument.
Yet here someone is expressing his own views and they do the same as the authorities....
It's an opinion, guys. Chill.
Don't suppose anyone realised that RPMnut isn't saying that SM should stop.
This is just his opinion. Unique to him and his life. Some may share it, some may not. But it isn't wrong to have a stand that differs from the majority or minority.
THAT's the real meaning of Merdeka!
Charles: it's different when people troll because they don't like you and people who give opposing opinions. People who posted here against the blogger is merely pointing out the flaws in his arguments.
They are not advocating for his head on a platter like many other haters of the LGBTIQ community is demanding for now. Have you even read some of those hate comments? The opposing views aired here are nothing compared to those
So stop acting like he is the victim here.
He has made valid points in his blogpost but the value of his points diminishes as he got carried away with his tirade of how he don't like other LGBTIQ people who do not conform to his norms and his completely shallow views on the "wellness" of other fellow LGBTIQs. Really just because he's having it good now doesn't give him the right to kick the community in the teeth while we're already down from all other external attacks at the moment.
I also agree with another commenter on why didn't this blogger made this rant 4 years back when SM first started. Was it too small to matter then? That this posting of his will not get as much "attention" as it would now? Such hypocrisy to label SM event as attention seeking when he got this PUBLISHED at a online news portal during such tense and volatile period.
Perhaps what the author is trying to say is that being "in your face" about the situation does not always bring about the good intended, in fact, often the opposite by polarising otherwise middle of the road people.
We can carry on shouting how much as a group we are marginalized - by race, religion, language spoken, economic status, disease status so on and so forth. While we may get ourselves some sympathy, it usually only lasts as long as that is the flavour of the month. By for more effective is to prove to others that you can rise up above all the prejudice and persecution and still contribute as much (if not more) and still be magnanimous enough to forgive and forget - I tell you my friend, that will win people's respect hands-down. Even your enemies. Nothing satisfies more than to see your persecutors humbled and nothing is more effective than to have them fight for your rights.
For the rights of the minority to be preserved, it is best fought by those in the majority.
And how in-your-face is the SM event? It wasn't widely publiciized by the organizers.
The forums, plays and movie screenings are just small events that will take place in the gallery area. People were not forced or coaxed to attend. Lastly,the events also welcome people who are not LGBTIQs who would like to know more, support or educate themselves on other basic human rights. Now in what way does the nature of any of these activities constitutes being "in-your-face".
Of course if would be great if the majority will rise and fight to protect the minorities but how is that ever going to be a reality when even members within minority community demonizes even well meaning events such as this.
Wow you sound like those hot grindr guys/sexy podium hunks who discriminates other less genetically beautiful gays around you... the privileged upper crust monogrammed-bag carrier (Gucci or LV) in a tight polo shirt (or maybe a CK, or A|X, or Paul Smith - never anything too 'unmanly' like Rick Owens or Ann Demeulemeester) who get 'grossed out' by sloppy non-designery-Tshirt LGBT activists who are spending much of their time writing to newspapers, politicians and authorities or making workshops to help empower the less fortunate e.g. transgenders who get arrested /harassed daily, or the effeminate lelaki lembuts who face vilification at work because he is surrounded by conservative homophobes, or depressed young LGBTs in rural areas who think they could lie to themselves and their parents by marrying off (because nobody else is ever Gay in this country, and so on and so forth)...
I guess some people have more things to think about. And some people have even more things to think about e.g. gymming and being fabulously chic at a dinner party...
But it's all good. Variety is great. I just hope there could be a little more empathy among the queers here. And for that, I'm sort of glad this Seksualiti Merdeka is making us think about our scene here a little bit more - united or divided it may be.
The day opinions like these are no longer tolerated or acknowledged, that's the day freedom and liberty really dies a sad death.
Although I have my own views on SM, I respect this author for putting his views forth instead of just sitting back and doing nothing until something like this comes along..
the author has a good life, partners in a law firm... why he even bother the lower class ?
It's baffling how so many are failing to see this as an opinion. The author has his, you have yours. There is no one right answer
joshua, you are wrong, the author definitely cant be classified as hunk lol
As much as I bat for the don't-rock-the-boat team, I can't help but find this piece of writing full of douchery, not to mention a bag full of contradiction.
Time for some long douche session, mate. Dig deep and perhaps, perhaps ..you will find the non-selfish and slightly less narcissistic you !
Start washing, ya. xx
Finally a neutral voice!
Refreshing to see someone who speaks what I've been thinking all this time!
To those that think otherwise, u have every right to disagree. U preach freedom of expression. Practice it for crying out loud! Don't criticize someone for having an opinion!
You have my vote, RPMnut! ;)
And btw..u guys condemn the personal attacks on Ambiga and the SM organizers by the authorities for expressing their thoughts. Yet you are all doing the same! What bloody hypocrites!
It's funny how this author is being chastized for expressing himself without fear - the very thing SM is fighting for.
And I thought SM is all about prevention of HIV and AIDS, until I read the news about certain political groups calling a ban on SM!
This blogger, whether the other anons who commented on this blog like it or not, has a valid point. In reality, whether we like it or not, malaysia is still a conservative nation and anything out of the norm would definitely be making big news and always not in a good way. Therefore it almost seems pointless to host such an event. I have long lost hope in this country, and I definitely think nothing is ever gonna change.
- Lee
Well said Nut. Eloquent, witty and a great expression of your views.
I've been WAITING for someone brave enough so speak up for gay men like me!
Nicely written piece!
freedom to critique is the key. People here who does not agree with him are just calling him out on his hypocrisy and shallow mindedness.
no one is baying for his blood or asking for his head on a platter...... there is a difference between people who troll and chastise with malice and those who write in to point out the flaws in the writer's opinions.
Freedom of expression is here. He has the right to think that way, and people have the right to agree with him or disagree with him and give him a piece of our minds.
Again, no one is trying to shut him up here. Those who are against his views are merely pointing out WHY and airing their own views.
Well said!
I think the generalization that all gay men want the same thing must stop.
Help those in need. But dont drag the entire community in without us asking to be dragged in!
Well said!
I think the generalization that all gay men want the same thing must stop.
Help those in need. But dont drag the entire community in without us asking to be dragged in!
then gay men who don't want the help can choose NOT take the help. just don't knock the people who do try to help.
I marched during BERSIH. I attended the first SM. But I also see the logic behind this post.
Having an opinion that differs from others doesnt make one a hypocrite. Or shallow.
How is what u guys are doing any different from what the authorities are doing to Datuk Ambiga and the organisers of SM?
So justsome1 - you mean to say if someone has an opinion different from yours they should shut the fuck up?
How are you any different from the government? Silence dissent by any means, including calling someone names and personally attacking someone u dont know. You're no different from the people you claim opress the community!
Who's the hypocrite now?
Great post! Well said tykeonabike;)
oh i DID say that.
my most humble apologies.
still I felt he could've picked a better time for this rant.
that doesn't change the facts on this opinion piece being hypocritical.
heck I wouldn't even have read this piece if only it wasn't PUBLISHED on a well known news website.
hypocritical in calling others fame seekers when this is such a sensationalist post by himself.
hypocritical in generalising that "gay men" are all doing well when he accused SM of generalising that all LGBTIQ needs support.
So finem call me a hypocrite for asking him to shush it in the heat of the moment. It doesn't change pre-existing facts.
Instead of critisizing, why dont you write your own piece, justsome1. There is space in this world for more opinions than just one...
And its so weird you dont seem to understand what opinions are. The piece clearly states its his own observations borne out of his own experiences. Why are you getting so worked up for nothing?
Justsomeone1 seems to be taking this soooooo personally? Part of the SM organizers?
Say what u want lah, but this blogger isn't alone. I'm gay. And I support Bersih. But i also agree with thia article!
If u claim there are some who arent as lucky, fine. Target your programme to them. Don't claim to speak for the entire community.
I love this writer!
He's taken the words out of my mouth.
The most valid points he's made:
Freedom of expression is a two way street! Activists please take note!
Not all gay men are with SM.
How does a drag musical help the community?
You want to help, join Pink Triangle. At least they do real work for the community!
No one is right.
No one is wrong.
Just different opinions.
Chilll la!
got to this post a bit late i know, but i totally agree with you...
of course I dont live in KL but still... :)
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