The Nutty Maldivian Adventure

If there’s one place one has to see before they kick the bucket, Maldives would be it. Not typically the kinda holiday I’d sign up for, I’ll admit. I’m normally quite averse to any destination where getting half naked to worship the sun forms 50% of the itinerary. There are, after all, so many other things to do whilst on holiday, and more importantly, better reasons to get naked….*giggles*

But after spending a week on the islands, the Maldives is perhaps the one exception that I’m willing to make.

It’s not for shopaholics, that’s for sure.

They don’t even have a mall to their name. They do have a Mac store though, rather interestingly….

Steve Jobs. Stop smirking.

It’s not for those in love with city life, but just want to experience a different city for their holidays either.

The capital of Maldives, Male, is after all, all of two kilometres wide. That’s about the size of Damansara Heights. Minus the heights. Cos the highest point of Male is all but a few feet above sea level. There’s a street that runs from one end to the other end of the island. Stand on one end, and you can see the other side. Not kidding. It’s THAT small. And the streets are awfully narrow.

So narrow, in fact, that you’d struggle to find what we’d normally call a “normal” sized car here. A Suzuki Swift is quite simply, a massive car on Maldivian roads. Hans would've been outlawed, I'm certain. And as a result, they have the cutest cars on the road there - witness what passes off as taxis in Male:

A Toyota Will Cypha. I've never heard of it. But it looks like something straight out of a sci-fi movie. Almost a tad too “canggih” for the streets of quaint ol’ Male.

It’s not for those looking for culinary excitement on their vacations.

They have curries. With tuna in it.
And stews. With tuna in it.
And some mildly intriguing breads. With tuna in it.

But that’s about as exciting as meals get in the Maldives, to be honest. And if you’re not a fan of tuna, then you’re a tad out of luck, cos you can’t exactly pop round the corner for a Big Mac. There’s simply no MacDonald’s in the country. The only fast-food chain serving anything remotely familiar will be Marrybrown’s, serving Malaysian-style fried chicken.

But….and this is really the country’s saving grace….what the Maldives lacks in conventional holiday attractions, it more than makes up for it with sights like these:

Waters so clear you would think they filled the oceans around the islands with mildly salted Evian.

Eye popping sights when the sun rises.

Equally breathtaking sunsets.

I was, quite frankly, blown away by the sights on the resort islands here. It’s gonna be hard for any other destination to top what I saw on these islands. How I’ll ever do another beach holiday again, I’ll never know. What they say about black blokes, I reckon it’d apply to this place too. Once you’ve gone to the Maldives, you’ll never go back to any other plain-jane beach holiday.

But be warned though. Beauty comes with a price. Everything from your bed to the crystal-clear water on which your speedboat zooms over as it delivers you to and from your idyllic lil resort is taxed. And is charged in USD. A shoe-string budget holiday, this is most certainly not.

But as a once-in-a-lifetime destination, I reckon it’s worth pissing off your friendly bank manager. *snigger*

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta go peel a few more layers of sunburnt skin off my heavily-vacationed body. *guffaw*