Heart Stoppers

People buy Protons for many reasons. National pride. Rock bottom prices. Value for money. Whatever the reason, and despite their Fisher-Price build quality, Protons still dominate the Malaysian roadscape. Think of it as the local Volkswagen and you wouldn’t be far off the track.

This Nut, on the other hand, bought Betsy the Gen2 for one reason and one reason alone. Her colour. Quite possibly, the prettiest shade of turquoise known to man.

Fine. So I have the depth of a soup spoon when it comes to pretty things. Bite me.

The promise of reasonable maintenance costs were a secondary concern, but a comforting one nonetheless. At the time at which I plonked down a deposit for the gal, I wasn’t exactly raking in the cash, you must understand. I became taxable only a year prior, and suffice to say that a shopping excursion at Cole Haan or Bvlgari back then would have easily bankrupted me. As such, a pretty set of wheels which wouldn’t cost the earth to upkeep was a very, very good thing to have.

And so far, it has worked out pretty well. Spending two hundred odd Ringgit every three months or so on servicing has gone largely unnoticed. But as they say, all good things do eventually come to an end.

Sent Betsy in for her 80,000km service yesterday. A “major” service, the Proton boys told me when I booked her in.

The last “major” service was at 40,000km, a good two years back. They replaced all sorts of fluids and lubricants on the lil' lady, and the bill came up to a smidgen over RM400.

But with the added mileage, I pretty much expected a somewhat heftier bill. Some parts would most likely be nearing the end of their designed service life after 4 1/2 years on the road, after all. Probably RM600, I thought to myself. RM700 if there's anything seriously wonky. But definitely nothing past this figure, I reckoned. It’s a Proton, after all, and Betsy's been showing no signs of electronic or mechanical gremlins.

But I was SO very wrong.

My jaw dropped and my heart definitely skipped a beat when I was handed this invoice for work done on the gal:

Your eyes do not deceive you. That is NOT a typo. Read em' and weep. It does indeed read:

One Thousand Four Hundred and Forty Seven Ringgit and Sixty Five Cents.

In other words, the cost of not one, not two, but THREE Cole Haan wallets.
Or a DELL Inspiron Mini 10 netbook.
Or heaven forbid, an iPod Touch with enough spare change for a Shuffle.

Holy bajeezus!

And mind you, it wasn't like they found some major automotive cancer growing on Betsy. There were no component failures. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just a routine scheduled parts, fluids and lubricant replacement.

Whoever said that Protons were cheap to upkeep, needs to be dragged out, quartered and shot.

If you happen to own and drive a Gen2 or any Proton equipped with the CAMPRO engine, and you're closing on on that magical 80,000km mark on your odometer, you've been warned. *smirk*